Turbulence

Los Angeles, California

Did our lives change after Covid lockdown? Sometimes it's hard to remember how life was different back before lockdown commenced almost six years ago. I see some monumental changes, especially in our government, but I'm more interested in the micro: How people treat each other; their interactions in public; the lack of courtesy and the abundance of entitlement. And in the mini-micro, how are we treating each other as friends?

Lately, I've been getting together with groups of women, some of whom I don't know that well. There was a birthday luncheon late last month for my 'better friend', Cin (I have for more than a decade called her my ex-best friend, but decided recently that we deserved a new designation) It wasn't a 'big' birthday, rather the one before, but she wanted to gather three of the women in her life who mean a lot to her. And it was lovely. Interesting conversation and no discussion of watching series on television. That is one of the ways that I find life has changed since the pandemic. People are so boring, wanting to endlessly talk about their TV viewing!

What I find interesting about what is happening around me is all the running around. I see people filling their lives with a vengeance of activity and distraction. It's very difficult to get people to just sit down. I often invite friends to my home to hang out and I have realized that many just cannot do that. There is so much going on in our country and our world. It truly is turbulent. I guess the question is, what do you do when there is turbulence? Myself, I like to strap down! But I see that others need to run up and down the aisles.

I don't really consider myself a meditator. But I do try to practice meditation. Trying is one of those words that can connote not getting there. And I think that is true about meditation. When I have practiced it religiously, every day, for long periods of time (like during lockdown), the benefit is rather profound. But even practicing intermittently, as I am doing at the moment, helps.

When I am feeling the aches and pains of my chores and workouts, I remember that a long ago fitness teacher advised that sometimes you just need to lie on the floor immobilized. Time out from activity and distractions can be invaluable. But also very difficult for people to do.

One of my friends has every day of her week scheduled. After spending a Wednesday with her a few years back, she clearly inked me in for every Wednesday. And I knew she had other people inked in for standing plans on other days of the week. I just couldn't do it. I like her a lot, and we always had fun together. But I am someone who enjoys being in my home, puttering around and tending to things by myself. Don't get me wrong, I am a people person and love spending time with Joel and my friends. But I need a balance of open, unbooked, solitary time along with my socializing. I want time to write here and in my journal. Time to set aside for working out and meditating. Not to mention paying my bills, doing my taxes, filing my paperwork. I once asked this friend when she managed to do laundry, since she was running up and down the aisles with activities every single day. I didn't really get an answer. I guess she figures it out.

I find human nature fascinating. I look for it in the books I read and the movies I see. What motivates us to build the lives we build, at least in the areas over which we have control? You watch ants in an anthill community, and they appear to more or less all be doing the same thing. But we're not ants. We are all different in so many ways. We all have the same emotions, but whether we all feel them is a whole different matter. And beyond that, how we react to them... a myriad of diversity in reaction. Fascinating.

Turbulence is an interesting metaphor because it is in all of our lives in some shape or another. If you don't think you have turbulence in your life, try turning on the news. I was just kidding. Don't. Just let me assure you that you do have it. In your relationships, in your thoughts, in your dreams, for a start. Whether you buckle up or sprint down the aisles is a choice, even if feeling compelled to do that doesn't feel like it. But it is a choice. And a very interesting one, at that.