Oops

Los Angeles, California

I was enjoying brunch time with an amiga especial. This longtime frister is so busy in her life that time spent together is indeed special and rather rare. A lovely time was had, catching up on our very different lives, commiserating a bit, and sharing the inevitable exchange about current events. Some topic we were touching on reminded me of something I had seen discussed on Real Time with Bill Maher. I enjoy watching this show (in fact, have attended many tapings of it here in LA). I don't always agree with everything I hear on the show, but I often come away more informed as I often feel the depths of the discussions illuminating.

I also find it somewhat enlightening to try to understand why so many of my friends have stopped watching him. For some, the dinner with Trump was the killing point. Others object to his staunch support of Israel. One friend objected to his complaints about liberals or more accurately, wokeness. On this day, I was surprised that my friend said she had taken a break from watching the show after a comment that he made about Dolly Parton. I asked her if this had been on his show which she confirmed. But as I hadn't heard it, I googled it when I got home.

Yes, he had made an offhand remark about Dolly's physical attributes. We'll leave it at that. The comment was made during his brief stand-up routine that begins each show. It's my least favorite part of the show so I may have left the room to freshen up my cocktail. At any rate, I wasn't aware of it until I read it online. But I will say that I have heard more offensive things come out of his mouth. Still, Dolly is so beloved, and I do get it. You probably shouldn't go after the sacred cows in our culture. Or should you?

I'm not a big a fan of stand-up comedy. Never really have been. I like my comedy situational. I am however a big fan of Marc Maron and also of Garrison Keillor. Granted they are more monologists than comedians (ok, Maron is straddling the line). I have heard Marc Maron make some outrageously offensive comments. But I am too old for cringe, and I find a lot of this, not all but a lot, entertaining. I think comedy is a lot like being in a relationship with a man. Some of it is going to border on intolerable, but all the good stuff provides the reason you stay with him.

Honestly, I think the thing that bothers me about this is how unfunny our world has become because of how easily we are all offended. I came of age in the era of Monty Python, and National Lampoon. I laughed my way through the film Airplane which skewered every racial, ethnic and sexual identity it could get its hands on. You couldn't make that film today. Really, I don't think Mel Brooks could make The Producers today. When did our culture become so snowflake-infused that any humorous or parody shade thrown is a reason to shun?

And, frankly, haven't we gotten into all kinds of trouble with the hyper vigilant canceling of what we deem inappropriate or offensive? Lest we all forget Al Franken, there is a huge spectrum between the criminal activity of Hamas, Jeffrey Epstein, Harvey Weinstein, and Trump, and the comedians and commentators who might make light of something more deserving of gravitas. I think this is one of the many areas that we liberals have gotten wrong.

And back to Dolly. I do get it. We used to hear that tragedy plus time equals comedy. And clearly no time at all had passed when he made this comment. But, was Dolly's death a tragedy? I don't think so. She lived a wonderful life, beloved by just about all. And since she made so many jokes about her own physical endowments, I'm not sure she wouldn't have had a great retort to Maher's comment. Do I wish she was still here to do that? Of course. We all do. But at the same time, I'm kinda grateful for Bill Maher being here and for the politically incorrect commentary he is still presenting, even with the occasional oops.

Just Like the Old Days

 Los Angeles, California (Yay! Finally, it's time for pumpkins!!)

So, I'm driving around town in my car and still listening to John Mellencamp's music. I haven't put together a playlist yet. That will be a recreation of the setlist he did at the Hollywood Bowl. It is a huge playlist. Something like eighteen songs. He didn't talk a lot in between songs, so he got in a lot of his music. For now, I just random play some of his songs which are now in my iTunes library.

As I'm driving and listening, I'm remembering a time back in 1975, after seeing The Rolling Stones, driving around in my Audi with all the windows down and the local radio stations playing a whole lot of Stones as they were still in town performing. After seeing Paul Simon's Farewell Tour in 2018, I was listening to Paul Simon a lot. It was such a great concert, I just wanted to keep reliving it.

So on a recent day, as I was driving along a boulevard, coming home from running some errands, I was grooving on Small Town, Pink Houses, and Hurts So Good. And even enjoying the rather misogynistic I Need a Lover (it was another time).

For some reason, while I had the music cranked up, a strong memory came to me. It was a year or two before the time of that Stones concert. My parents were out of town and I was housesitting.  I was driving home from my part-time job to meet my boyfriend, David, at my parents' home. On the way, I stopped at Dale's market and bought steak, chicken, salad, potatoes for baking, everything needed for sandwiches, beer and both red and white wine. We were spending a weekend together mostly in my parents' pool.

I was driving my VW, which preceeded the Audi, and had the music cranked up. And, oddly, I remember listening to Alice Cooper's School's Out. It was just the start of summer. And school was out for us, having finished our first year (or maybe two) of college. After I arrived home, David arrived with albums: Allman Brothers' Eat a Peach; Loggins and Messina Sitting In; probably some Bowie and Stones.

The thing about that memory is that I remember the feeling of it so intensely. And strangely, or maybe not so, listening to Mellencamp and looking forward to going to a Dodgers' game with Joel that evening felt exactly the same. The same groove to the music and the same excitement about the coming evening with the guy. Different music. Different car. Different guy. Same feeling.

I love that I can recapture those memories and feel what that felt like. I love that I can experience the same feelings in a different decade. I love that at this time, I can look backwards and curiously realize that I had no idea that this many years later I could still feel this way. And also knowing that, in given circumstances, I will always feel this way.

At the concert, I recorded a video of Mellencamp singing Hurts So Good. It was the last song he played. And when I played it for my friends, Todd and Christopher, I noticed that I could hear myself singing. It is wild! I have videos of me dancing, but I don't do karaoke. Still, there I am, singing at the top of my voice that it Hurts So Good. And that's what I'm still doing in my car, although maybe not quite at the top of my voice. But I'm feeling the joy that I have always felt in recapturing a concert experience by listening to the artist's music, while driving which, granted, is not quite as much fun as it used to be. Although the Tesla experience is a cool cruise while singing along. Ok, for me now, school is out for good. But, I'm happy to report that the music still plays on. It always will. And so will those evocative feelings that come from experiencing it.