Antisocial Network

Los Angeles, California

When I heard the news that "Meta" (FKA Facebook) stock had tanked this week, I was reminded of a recent text conversation with a close friend about social networking. I debated using this as a topic for a blogpost as I wasn't sure where I could go with it. I can pretty much sum up how I feel about social networking by simply asking: Why would anyone do this? It's tangentially related to my not being a fan of Amazon. I wish I could shun Amazon entirely, but sometimes I have to use Amazon, as there are things you can only find there. Still, while I can't draw a line in the sand, I can avoid it as much as possible. But, social networking? Totally out. The first time someone enthusiastically showed me Facebook, I thought: Why in the world would anyone think this is a good idea? I saw it as a huge participant in what I recently heard Benedict Cumberbatch refer to as our ever-shrinking island of privacy. When dancers in the salsa community started asking me if they could "friend" me on Facebook, I demurred, and, honestly, I was thinking: This is pretty tacky. I later read that these sites were contributing to our collective cognitive degradation. Someone put it like this: Facebook should be called Timesuck. After American politics blew up through social media with Russia utilizing Facebook to plant those preposterous stories about Hillary Clinton, that followed by the incessant drone of Trump's illiterate tweets, which was then followed by recent whistleblowing about Instagram and Facebook; I realized it wasn't just a bad idea nor tacky, but was really toxic. As I heard David Mitchell say on The Graham Norton Show: The internet has made it easier to order pizza and for the truth to die.

So I had to question why people would still be enthusiastically utilizing social networking. And partly, the answer is the same answer I get from the people who rely on Amazon for everything. Convenience. They are both easy-to-use instruments for hustling to get us what we want, whether it be products or a community of "friends." In that recent conversation, my friend outlined some of the ways in which Facebook has enabled her to find resources. But she is obtaining recommendations for those resources from strangers. How can you judge the qualifications or standards of someone whom you only know superficially through a social networking group? It reminds me of asking the waiter to recommend items on the menu. Why would anyone assume that waiter has good taste? That they don't hit McDonald's on the way home or that they aren't most likely going to recommend what the kitchen told them to promote due to other menu shortages? I don't subscribe to any social networking site, even avoiding linkedin when I was a business owner. Yet, I am able to obtain great resources from my own network, and my friends often come to me when they need workers, product info, etc. In turn, when I am in need, I have my go-to friends who are trusted, totally checked-out referral sources. I've known them for a long time, and have been to their homes, so I am assured of their standards of quality. While much like with Amazon, I try not to, I do occasionally need to use online sources. I found a specialized repair person recently off of yelp, even though having been a business owner, I know how yelp works so I don't much trust the reviews. I once gave a deserved mixed review to a plumbing contractor which was posted, but shortly taken down. I knew this was because the contractor paid for advertising on yelp, and yelp didn't want to lose his revenue. Still, all social networking aside, I am fully cognizant of the benefit of online information. After all, I no longer have encyclopedias in my home, so my phone and MacBook are handy for research. It's the networking part that is sticky for me, especially with everything we now know about these companies. And while understanding the importance and need for validation, even virtual validation, when the monetization of what was purported to be the free flow and exchange of information becomes the raisin d’être of these sites, it may be time to question participation.

What is interesting to me is that many of my friends are supportive of so many causes like animal rights and the environment. Some shun animal products, and I've had others tell me that their adult children would not let them use paper products like paper plates! Not. Let. Them. Sink that in. But many of these same conscientious souls seem to have no compunction about putting money into the pockets of these unconscionable tech gizillionaires.

Oddly, this got me thinking about the slow food movement. I don't really eat processed foods. And I don't eat a lot of fast foods, though I am still recognized at my local Del Taco when I need my bean and cheese burrito with green sauce fix. But I do embrace the quality of the slow food I cook, and the source of where my food products originate. And in the same sense, I'm now realizing that in staying away from these online sites, I am continuing in a movement of slow networking. Everything today moves fast. We have speedy and ready access to a multitude of stimuli and immediate gratification in entertainment, retail and even, sometimes dangerously, health services through the internet. But on the other side of this, we are increasingly engaging virtually with strangers. And even more so through the pandemic. For myself, I often use texting to set up times to have real face-to-face or at least voice-to-voice conversations. Would I give up email and texting completely and embrace amishness? No. But real communication, trusted resources, and the intimacy we all need? These are not available through social networking sites. They only pretend they are.