It's a Wonderful Pandemic?

Los Angeles, California

One of the signals that the pandemic Christmas is affecting me is that I recently cried my way through the end of It's a Wonderful Life. I'm not talking about tears forming, I am talking about big, gulping sobs. I am sure I have wept at the ending before, say like forty years ago when I first saw it. In the fifty times, more or less, that I have watched it since, I have mostly found it humorous. It's got some great lines: George Bailey lassoes stork! And it is comforting in its familiarity. It's not my favorite Christmas movie. For the past decade or so as my family was unraveling, I came to love The Ref. If you watch it, and you see a battling family wearing lit St. Lucia wreaths on their heads, you will comprehend this.

A few days after watching It's a Wonderful Life, I decided to try Queen's Gambit. This series, more than any other, came at me from all different directions. A lot of my friends who tend not to agree on a whole lot of stuff including what they are watching, all recommended this series. To be totally redundant, I am not a series-watcher. There is something about the dull mesmerizing focus of sitting through multiple episodes that makes me balk at investing the time to do this. Currently, I can handle watching movies and also a series on PBS' Masterpiece, when not a mystery, viewing only one episode per week as they roll out. So, that's not to say that I never watch series TV. I just mostly stay away from the Reese Witherspoon/Nicole Kidmanesque ones. For me, those fell into the fool me once catagory, with Big, Little Lies. No thank you. And, I tend to find that British series are usually better than the shiny ones originating here. Despite the rough start, I loved Fleabag. I may be the only person on the planet who liked Run until the last episode when I wanted to throw something large and heavy at the TV.

So, I tried Queen's Gambit. The first episode was darker than I expected. A bit Dickensian in theme. But after a couple of episodes, I got hooked. And, unexpectedly, wept through most of the last episode. Here we go again. What is with all this weeping? I am usually pretty good at recognizing what I'm feeling, and why I'm feeling it. This is clearly tied to the isolation and the pandemic and Christmas. And maybe that's all it is: Feeling isolated during the pandemic at Christmas. Voila! And, maybe for added measure, it was knowing that the last episode of the series meant another ending. Loads of endings without the finish of the thing we all fervently want to end.

But another part of what was so moving in the last episode of Queen's Gambit was how her community stepped back in to support her. Even the ones who she hadn't been so good to throughout her struggle with her own issues. It reminded me of how much it has meant to me during this long hard year, to have the friends I have and how we have texted, emailed, and called to keep each other on an even keel. I have been isolated all year, but I have never felt alone.

It is a great series. I liked it a lot, and it kept me busy for a few weeks. Busyness is good occupation through all the time that is flowing by. Now approaching the nine-month mark, with the vaccine just beginning to be administered, it is sobering to think that we probably have about another six months of this. Joel and I speculate that we will be out dancing again around the time of his birthday in early July. So by next Christmas, perhaps I will be able to watch It's a Wonderful Life again, sans sobbing. And maybe even with an appreciation that in a post-pandemic world, it really is a wonderful life. After all, one can always hope. Hoping whatever holiday you celebrate this holiday season brings (has brought) you joy and hope. God bless us, everyone. ♥️