The concept of two people in love who choose not to marry is probably fine and dandy for most people. I'm totally ok with it. What has not been fine nor dandy is the concept of two people in love who, by law, were prohibited from marrying. So I am exceedingly glad and grateful that last year California joined with the states that have made same-gender marriages lawful. Hooray!
And so, Todd & Christopher married. They picked a fabulous venue; invited interesting and fun friends; planned enjoyable activities. In addition, the weather was perfect. But, for me, the centerpiece was to witness this marriage of two people who mean so much to me. They are family.
It's been ages since I have attended the wedding of friends. Everyone's kids seem to be getting married now. Or, worse, they're already married and making my friends into grandparents. My frister, Diana, is about to take up that mantle, and she was at Woodstock, for heaven's sake. It's come to that. But I digress.
We spent the weekend at the Hotel Healdsburg and walked around town each morning. We ran into other wedding guests in the lobby or elevator or out on the sidewalk in town. It was good to see Christopher's parents, Jerry and Marge, who we had spent a Christmas with us all in Carmel in 2012. And I loved spending time with the girls: Todd's sister, Carole; Lauren, who was with Christopher at Colgate University, and Sarah who attended University of Michigan where she and Christopher were in a graduate program. The girls.
The day before the wedding, we had lunch at Oakville Grocery, then drove to a winery for a reserved wine tasting. It was a lovely vineyard spot, and we got to know some of the other guests while we were there, including another Todd (he called himself Todd One after I called him Todd Two), who I later discovered is quite the dancer! Then Todd, Christopher, Carole, Cheryll, Finn & Dash (C & T's godsons and ringbearers), and I went to the wedding site for a run through. This was where I met Brian, who was doing the other reading. When I did my practice reading, Katie, the very lovely wedding coordinator exclaimed, Oh dear. You are going to have to do it louder than that. Ok, I responded, but did you have to preface that tip with 'oh dear'? Then she told Brian the same thing (without the oh dear), so he did it a second time. That sounded exactly the same as the first time! I chided. He made a face at me. She's right, Katie said. Another face. I like him.
That night, I went by Carole's room to pick her up for the 'rehearsal' dinner, and I got to hang out in her room and chat while she finished getting ready. It felt good to be there, and to spend time with her. We were both part of the wedding. Carole, who had gotten her license on line, would officiate the ceremony, and I with my reading, which was a poem by Pablo Neruda.
The ceremony was perfect in every way. Well, almost... My nervousness about the reading was just slightly edged off by the Aperol spritzes they were serving. I partook just one, just before. We were gathered in the ruins of an old winery, on a beautiful property somewhere in Santa Rosa. I had worried that my voice would quaver, but when I got up to read, the spritz had evidently sent the quavering down to my knees, and my legs shook perceptably during my brief time in the spotlight. Note to self: next time have two spritzes, as that should take it all the way down and out of my body through my feet! Oh well. Brian, the other reader, did excellently and we high-fived and hugged when it was over. I love this stuff..!
After the ceremony we walked up the hill past vineyards to a large, long table set on a plateau (so Todd). We had dinner there watching the sun dip, with the glow of early evening fading to night. After an amazing dinner (so Christopher), we hied ourselves back to the ruins for some dancing, then finally back to our respective hotels. We managed to close the bar at Hotel Healdsburg, where I spent the time talking to Curt, our long-past employee who was at Pepperdine University with Todd. That was the connection, back some twenty-five years or so. Twenty years ago, to the weekend, we had been at Curt's wedding in Orlando, Florida with Todd. Lots of changes in those twenty years. Christopher had yet to come into Todd's, and, subsequently, our lives. And we were just friends then. Now we are family.
There was brunch the next morning at The Shed in Healdsburg which was a very cool spot. Christopher had told me that The Shed was very Bronte Healy. I replied: Do you mean that it is forgetful and disorganized? That's not good in a restaurant. But, he had meant it in some way as a compliment. Once we arrived there I decided that he thinks I am airy and white. More like an airhead, I'm afraid...
Later that day, Carole rode with us to Oakland Airport, and we flew home that day. Back to life as we know it in Los Angeles. Back to care of my mom. Back to the crises, problems, and complications that, I suppose, we all have in our lives in varying degrees. We boarded late and didn't sit together, but I managed to cadge a window seat. I looked out the window of the plane for most of the flight. I wanted to just keep flying. Just stay up there. Just go. Thelma and Louise. Funny how you can get those dark thoughts, even at a time when you have spent such a stellar weekend, and been fortunate enough to be part of such a very memorable event. But that's life. Sometimes in the middle of all of the sh*t, there really is a pony. And despite everything else, and everything that was awaiting me back in my real life, I felt heartily thankful to have been part of the ponyride. It was the best. Thank you for reading my blog. Aperol Spritzes raised: Here's to TB & CK! I LOVE YOU BOTH.
It's been ages since I have attended the wedding of friends. Everyone's kids seem to be getting married now. Or, worse, they're already married and making my friends into grandparents. My frister, Diana, is about to take up that mantle, and she was at Woodstock, for heaven's sake. It's come to that. But I digress.
We spent the weekend at the Hotel Healdsburg and walked around town each morning. We ran into other wedding guests in the lobby or elevator or out on the sidewalk in town. It was good to see Christopher's parents, Jerry and Marge, who we had spent a Christmas with us all in Carmel in 2012. And I loved spending time with the girls: Todd's sister, Carole; Lauren, who was with Christopher at Colgate University, and Sarah who attended University of Michigan where she and Christopher were in a graduate program. The girls.
The day before the wedding, we had lunch at Oakville Grocery, then drove to a winery for a reserved wine tasting. It was a lovely vineyard spot, and we got to know some of the other guests while we were there, including another Todd (he called himself Todd One after I called him Todd Two), who I later discovered is quite the dancer! Then Todd, Christopher, Carole, Cheryll, Finn & Dash (C & T's godsons and ringbearers), and I went to the wedding site for a run through. This was where I met Brian, who was doing the other reading. When I did my practice reading, Katie, the very lovely wedding coordinator exclaimed, Oh dear. You are going to have to do it louder than that. Ok, I responded, but did you have to preface that tip with 'oh dear'? Then she told Brian the same thing (without the oh dear), so he did it a second time. That sounded exactly the same as the first time! I chided. He made a face at me. She's right, Katie said. Another face. I like him.
That night, I went by Carole's room to pick her up for the 'rehearsal' dinner, and I got to hang out in her room and chat while she finished getting ready. It felt good to be there, and to spend time with her. We were both part of the wedding. Carole, who had gotten her license on line, would officiate the ceremony, and I with my reading, which was a poem by Pablo Neruda.
The ceremony was perfect in every way. Well, almost... My nervousness about the reading was just slightly edged off by the Aperol spritzes they were serving. I partook just one, just before. We were gathered in the ruins of an old winery, on a beautiful property somewhere in Santa Rosa. I had worried that my voice would quaver, but when I got up to read, the spritz had evidently sent the quavering down to my knees, and my legs shook perceptably during my brief time in the spotlight. Note to self: next time have two spritzes, as that should take it all the way down and out of my body through my feet! Oh well. Brian, the other reader, did excellently and we high-fived and hugged when it was over. I love this stuff..!
After the ceremony we walked up the hill past vineyards to a large, long table set on a plateau (so Todd). We had dinner there watching the sun dip, with the glow of early evening fading to night. After an amazing dinner (so Christopher), we hied ourselves back to the ruins for some dancing, then finally back to our respective hotels. We managed to close the bar at Hotel Healdsburg, where I spent the time talking to Curt, our long-past employee who was at Pepperdine University with Todd. That was the connection, back some twenty-five years or so. Twenty years ago, to the weekend, we had been at Curt's wedding in Orlando, Florida with Todd. Lots of changes in those twenty years. Christopher had yet to come into Todd's, and, subsequently, our lives. And we were just friends then. Now we are family.
There was brunch the next morning at The Shed in Healdsburg which was a very cool spot. Christopher had told me that The Shed was very Bronte Healy. I replied: Do you mean that it is forgetful and disorganized? That's not good in a restaurant. But, he had meant it in some way as a compliment. Once we arrived there I decided that he thinks I am airy and white. More like an airhead, I'm afraid...
Later that day, Carole rode with us to Oakland Airport, and we flew home that day. Back to life as we know it in Los Angeles. Back to care of my mom. Back to the crises, problems, and complications that, I suppose, we all have in our lives in varying degrees. We boarded late and didn't sit together, but I managed to cadge a window seat. I looked out the window of the plane for most of the flight. I wanted to just keep flying. Just stay up there. Just go. Thelma and Louise. Funny how you can get those dark thoughts, even at a time when you have spent such a stellar weekend, and been fortunate enough to be part of such a very memorable event. But that's life. Sometimes in the middle of all of the sh*t, there really is a pony. And despite everything else, and everything that was awaiting me back in my real life, I felt heartily thankful to have been part of the ponyride. It was the best. Thank you for reading my blog. Aperol Spritzes raised: Here's to TB & CK! I LOVE YOU BOTH.
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