The Pirates Code

Carmel-by-the-Sea, California

In honor of Halloween, I am posting an editorial which has been in draft form for a long, long time. I often do that with posts. It is always good to have a few marinating, and some of them marinate themselves into embalmment. But, it being Halloween, and the post having the reference to pirates, I thought What the hell? Put her up.

Part of my hesitation was rooted in the change that I have brought about here in Sandraland. Perhaps you read here, or have noticed, that at the outset of 2025, I cut politics out of my posts. And I have also tried to play down one of my two deadly sins: complaining. I can bitch to high heaven, and goodness knows there is currently a whole lot of firewood for that blaze. But I have to question whether it is enjoyable or even more importantly, enlightening, to read a complaining diatribe, as reflected in those posts. However, in the case of this post, I'm going to wave my flag and bitch away. By the way, my other deadly sin is procrastination.

In the original film Pirates of the Caribbean, those captured by the pirates call parlay which is defined as A discussion or conference, especially one between enemies over terms of truce or other matters. Ok, so now that we have that definition, you can forget about it. What matters here is that at a pivotal point after capturing Jack and whatever her name is, the pirate portrayed by Geoffrey Rush responds to the request for parlay based on the Pirates Code, by saying (and I paraphrase here): It's not really a code... more of a guideline.

I live in Los Angeles, which could be called The Knee-jerk Capitol of the World. I have long been aware that every single time it is reported in the news that something might be detrimental to our health, people freak out and completely eliminate whatever it is. I could go through the long list: Diet Coke; beef; egg yolks; processed foods; the seasoning packet in instant ramen, and the list goes on. Anyone who reads the comments on any food app like The New York Times Cooking, will find the virtue-signaling, holier-than-though commenter who wants you to know you can eat this if you want, but they have calculated the fat, sodium, and nut oils and in their infinite wisdom, they abstain, utterly.

Don't get me wrong. I do believe that there are things that are bad for us and should be avoided. Things like trans-fats, those black cooking utensils, goat cheese (ok, it's not really that bad for us, I just don't like it). But there is this smugness about toeing the line based on every study that is released, that I find ridiculous. I just don't think those studies should be followed like a code. More of a guideline.

Not to tell you to do what I do, but here is what I do. I eat widely across the spectrum, including the odd Diet Coke and even a little processed foods. It's just that on that end of the spectrum, I indulge only occasionally. A bit of an egg yolk isn't going to kill you, nor probably shorten your life. But that's just my belief. Maybe I just have a different end game. Most of my grandparents lived into old age. My mother made it to 94. Yes, maybe my genetics are predisposed to longevity, or maybe my relatives just didn't suffer from fear of food. My grandfather smoked all his life up until he died at 85. I'm not advising anyone to light up. Just advising to lighten up. Why sacrifice the joy you find in food throughout your life, just to bet on health in later years? And your answer to that may be because it's worth it. But to me, it's not.

Alcohol is the new forbidden planet as we are told that no amount of alcohol is good for us. Maybe that is true, or maybe another study will come along to refute that. Or maybe there is an agenda in putting this information out. I'm not indulging in conspiracy theories here, I'm just saying. A friend asked me recently if I drink alcohol everyday. I almost do. But at least half of the time, my cocktail is less than a standard shot. That's my compromise, as I am not going to give up the tradition of having a glass of wine or an ounce of scotch most evenings while I am cooking. Am I aware that I might be damaging my health? Yeah. Do I care? Not really.

Julia Child once said that she thought worrying about eating butter was less healthy than actually eating butter. Butter... so divine. A friend once remarked that eating oysters was so bad for you. Oysters... heaven on the half-shell. I could go on and on. But suffice to say, I know what is good for me. And I know what is purported to be bad for me. But for me, where this is all concerned, I adhere to the pirate's code. It's not really a code, you know. It's more of a guideline.