The Red Hearts

Los Angeles, California

Our friends are far-flung. I am increasingly grateful for the ones who live nearby. They can come over and hang out on the sofa, help me organize the rooms in my guesthouse (you know who you are, Dr. C!), and play Ticket to Ride into the wee hours (see last parenthetical). But not everyone lives here. In March of 2020, I shared an experience on an airplane, and subsequent journey, with three women (see posts entitled That Was he Year That Was, Parts One and Two). Two of us live in California, with one in the southwest and another on the east coast. Thankfully, we have stayed in touch.

My close friend, Karen, lives in Arizona. Why anyone lives full-time in Arizona is a mystery to me, but it’s a nice place to visit in Spring when the Dodgers participate in Cactus League spring training. Shortly afterwards the weather becomes hell and remains so for a good six or seven months. I would not go anywhere near the state during that time. But, this year Joel and I went to Phoenix in April to see the Dodgers play (and beat) the Arizona Diamondbacks. We are just starting to visit National League stadiums. I’m already up on him by two, but have no problem revisiting San Francisco. San Diego, not so much…

Last October, Karen sent me a birthday card and a bracelet. The bracelet was an intention bracelet, and the instructions indicated that one should set an intention to be reminded of while wearing it. My intention was procrastination. Not to intend to procrastinate. I need no reminder to do that daily. But rather to not procrastinate. I have now been wearing the bracelet, every day, for over eleven months, and it has actually worked. When I walk past some item in my home that needs to be put away, I will now back up, pick it up, and put it where it belongs. At least about 98% of the time (if it is after ten o’clock at night, my intention, understandably, can falter).

For Karen’s most recent birthday, I sent her a necklace with a red crystal heart. For the past fifteen years, I have worn a necklace with a small, ruby heart. I receive more compliments on this piece of jewelry than on any other that I own. It is a heart I wear near to my own heart and is very meaningful to me. When in one calendar year I suffered the deaths of three people who were pivotal in my life, and some significant strife followed; seeing that heart in the mirror each day, helped me. Like the bracelet it provided a grounding message for me, that in spite of what I was going through, there was still a reason to love, a reason to trust, and a reason to give back.

And so, I started giving red, crystal heart necklaces to the girlfriends, the fristers who had stood by me. I gave the first one to Carole, who stayed with me at a time when I couldn’t be alone. And the following year, when I traveled to Phoenix to celebrate Cactus League with Lynnette and Connie, I gave them each one.

While Carole was staying with me, back almost ten years ago, Karen was texting, calling, and sending me information to help me deal with the last death. How is it that I never gave a heart to her? It somehow slipped through the cracks. But that was remedied last month when I sent her a Kate Spade red heart necklace for her birthday.

I probably should have bought these necklaces by the dozen. I think of these women as belonging to a red heart club which fills a space in my heart. I was exceedingly fortunate to have them in my life at a time when I really needed them. And to have them in my life now, for the time that we share in both good times and challenging ones.

I will see Karen in Manhattan later this year when we cheer for her brother, Russell, who is traveling from his home in London to run the New York Marathon. There will be stories about this to tell in upcoming posts. I won’t wait till the last minute to pack. That would be procrastinating. My bracelet wil help on that front. And of course my heart will travel with me.