Hesitating a Guess

Los Angeles, California

I am in a relationship with someone whose first language is not English. This both makes our life together interesting, in a sort of Lucy and Ricky Ricardo way. But it also can create pitfalls when discussing things of a serious nature. I am loathe to admit the following, because I think celebrity culture is pretty much bullshit, but I read a small blurb that popped up on my New York Times feed about Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen. It speculated that their language differences are potentially problematic in their troubled marriage, though both speak the other's language to some extent.

If English is not your first language you are to be excused for the occasional malapropism or other verbal gaffe. I tease Joel that he struggles with the TH sound. He comes back with a triumphantly rolled R, a sound which I cannot ever hope to do with my scant Spanish. And trust me, I have tried. But, if English is your first language, how proper should your English be? I am told that with the dumbing down in American education, there is no longer a distinction between may and can. A lot of people use no when they should say any. That particularly strikes a discordant note whenever I hear it. And then there are mispronunciations, which I have previously written about here, buried somewhere in posts of previous years. Flaccid, amphitheater, anesthesia (H's are not silent, people) are good examples. I have a book entitled There is No Zoo in Zoology. Sound it out.

So, last week, when I heard someone doing coverage of Hurricane Ian on CNN, my ears perked up when someone started a sentence with: If I hesitate a guess. You would think when you are dealing with a hurricane you might be able to conjure up the word: Hazard. On the other hand, we have all had those momentary spells of aphasia when the word eludes us, and another one starting with the same letter takes its place, and this isn't bad grammar but rather not hitting the cliché on the head. Under the circumstances, I decided to give this one a pass.

Much more bothersome to me was the blonde reporter on CNN who stated Me and 'Joe Schmoe' have been working on this story. What? And, I know, I probably shouldn't have stated that she is blonde but she is blonde. How does someone get to an on-camera position like that without knowing the distinction between I and me? On the other hand, at least she didn't state This dude and I have been working on the story. I'm afraid that is coming and don't get me started.

My friend, Lynnette, and I were at a local hamburger joint which is in an old railway car and offers up my favorite chili burger. It was on a Sunday and there was an all-boys soccer team there with their coach. I'm pretty hopeless at guessing kids' ages, but I would say they were about ten. Two of them walked past our table, speaking loudly to each other as kids and adults who should know better often do. And, one of them dropped an F-bomb as they walked by. The only problem I have with that word (and I have used it here) is the overuse of it. It should be an über-emphatic adjective (and adverb) and exclamation. Not the most common one. And, aren't kids being taught to respect adults anymore? And, why am I putting rhetorical questions in bold italics? I know the answer to both those preguntas.

There are a lot of things in our zeitgeist right now that can make us loco (maybe, for you, my use of Spanglish could be one of them). We all should be fearful of the way people are driving. Would it be possible to put an end to political comments dropped into the notes after an online recipe? And when will the end come to Trump, Trump, Trump and his dangerous and moronic base? It's all bad. So why do I focus on these stupid little annoyances that I can't do anything about, anyway? I don't know. Me can't even hesitate a guess.