Alone Again, Or

Los Angeles, California

My houseguests have left, and I am sitting at my kitchen table, next to the window, during a thunderstorm. Summer thunderstorms are not common in our area, but not totally rare either. So far, no rain has fallen, but the thunder has been cracking-loud, startling both Ana, my homekeeper, and myself. We had the most wicked heatwave just two weeks ago, after quite mild June, and early July, weather. Weather sites reported that the high temperature for Friday, July 8th, in my area of Los Angeles, was 117. The following day, my Lyft driver reported that we were in a cooling trend. His car showed the temperature as 112, whereas the day before it had read 122.

I Lyfted to Todd and Christopher's home to attend the Jennifer Hudson concert at The Hollywood Bowl with them, and with Christopher's friend, Brian. It was a steamy night, but special, as always, to be there under the stars with good friends. Christopher prepared ceviche, which we lettuce-wrapped, and an excellent farro salad.

This past weekend the weather was perfect for hanging out by the pool with Karen and Greg. We celebrated Bastille Day with Sheet-Pan Coq au Vin, brie and bread, and ratatouille. I baked a peach cake. Joel came for a rack of lamb dinner the next night. Ratatouille again, but diverting the brie to a Port Salut. In the beating-things-to-death-with-a-stick department, I can never have enough cheese, if it is really good cheese. Fat, in one of its most tantalizingly, party-in-my-mouth incarnations. It also has protein, though anyone who eats it for protein is surely fooling themselves, for it is certainly not a good choice due to the high fat content. Rather, it's a treat, a guilty-pleasure, and much, much better for dessert, or as the anchor of that occasional, decadent, guilty-pleasure meal with crusty french bread (nary a whole-wheat grain in sight) and some mustard and tarragon vinaigrette-dressed leaves. I get excited just thinking about it.

This has been one of the best summers in recent years, shared with lots of friends and events. I am free of responsibility except to Joel and my other peeps, and to my house. I think I deserved a good summer. After all that has happened in my life, including the puzzling loss of a close friendship last year, I now accept that depression can descend and encircle me without much notice. My therapist and I parted last summer, with her reminding me that I have all the tools in my toolbox. I have to keep an eye on that toolbox! As well as to make sure I have a balance of the elements that keep us all upright in our lives: Spirituality; satisfying intimacy; soul-touching friendships; meaningful endeavors; fun and joyfulness; exercise; varied and interesting diet (sans kale and quinoa for the most part); sleep; reading quality literature; listening to music across the spectrum of genres, except rap and hip hop, and not even Hamilton hip hop (the kale of Broadway... I know, I know. I'm just saying).

The boys of summer, the Los Angeles Dodgers, are now in first place in their division at the start of the second half of the season. With three good opportunities to see them play coming up: in Oakland August 7th; Seattle later that month, and late September in San Francisco. Lynnette and Jim will be in attendence at two out of the three, so there's an opportunity to enjoy games with my favorite Dodger opponent fans! All the while staying out of Dodger Stadium. What a good thing...

But, with all this fun and the frivolity of a barefoot and candlelit summer, the truth is, it's pretty ugly out there right now. My suggestion is to do what I am doing: try to shelter from what is going on with the people in our country, and in the world. For now, take time out to enjoy the fun and leisure of summer as it moves along. Swim, drink IPA and rosé, laugh crazily as you play games with friends (we've been playing a baseball game that is hilarious). Read good books by the pool or on the beach. Travel to far or near places. Have gratitude for all that you can. For between the spaces of pain, loss, fear, and the worst: disillusionment, there truly can be blissful contentment. Sometimes you just have to take a great big breath, reach out, and appreciate it all. Life comes with no warranties; and a big price tag. You can't haggle, so just hand your credit card over. But always make sure first that you are signed up for the rewards.

Thank you for spending time reading this blog post during your lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer!