Ecological Anorexia

Carmel-by-the-Sea, California

I nabbed a crew member at Monterey Trader Joe's recently to ask if they had any of those tortilla chips that you can heat up by throwing the bag in the microwave. The crew member checked it out and reported that their store wasn't moving them fast enough to keep up with the expiration dates, so they were no longer carrying them. Did I want her to order them for me? I told her that I was only going to be in the area for a short period of time, so no thank you. She asked where I was from, then volunteered to recommend some local restaurants. Very local. Like, walking distance from Trader Joe's. In the brief conversation that followed she told me that she doesn't have a car, so she lives close to work and walks everywhere. Then went on to say that she doesn't believe people should have cars that they are harmful to the environment in a variety of different ways, and people should stop driving them. Hmmm. Ok, she was young, idealistic, and had latched onto a worthy cause. Except. Except she got this glowing fervor in her voice and eyes as she reported this. And it reminded me of people I had known from high school who had taken a lot of drugs, and then gave up the drugs and became evangelical Christians. It's the fervor thing.

But it's also the extremist nature that some people bring to joining this conservationist cause. Remember the young guy with aspergers who set fire to a gaggle of SUVs for a similar reason? Not that I don't get the importance of ecology and the delicate balance in which we now live with regard to resources. That's why we recycle. Our limited resources should be used with discretion (here in Carmel where water is precious, they've got the low-flow toilets practically down to no-flow, and you have to run around in the shower to get wet). We already know about conservation, and you don't have to hear it again from me. But I get bothered by the posturing about environmental issues. We were recently invited to a wedding where the gift listing site stated that the wedding had been designated by the bride and groom as a green wedding so no gifts would be wrapped in paper. But it was a destination wedding two hundred miles away from where the bride and groom and their families and most of their friends live. How green is it to require that gifts not be wrapped, yet attendees must drive or fly that distance? Kinda contradictory, I thought (not that we didn't enjoy ourselves - invite us to a wedding out of town and we will be there, fossil fuel be damned).

I probably have no business tying this ecological fervor to population control, but how many of these environmental zealots are willing to not add more people to the planet in order to conserve resources? When I was trying to talk Billy into getting a Prius, he mentioned this to our dentist, Lynnette. She told him that if I wanted to reduce my carbon footprint I should get the Prius (like I'm going to give up German engineering), and he should be able to get the car that he wants. The next time I saw her, I mentioned that, just when I thought I had him convinced on the Prius, Billy had gone off the idea. The carbon footprint thing came up again. And that was when she reminded me that our personal use of resources is already way ahead of the game because, not having had children, we never used diapers, never drove carpool to school and soccer games, never had little people in our homes tearing through reams and reams of paper, gizallons of water, food, etc. I had never thought of this. I always thought I was a moderate user of resources, but she was right. By not having children both of us had way slowed our footprints on the carbon trail. It makes you think.

But, here is the more important, existential question of the day, one which I will ponder for a great many days to come: Why don't people in the Monterey area consume more tortilla chips? I just don't get it. It's nearing Superbowl Sunday, and there are 49er fans living here. What is the deal with the tortilla chips? These Trader Joe's chips were really good, restaurant-quality which you could heat in the bag so they were hot AND crispy. Ahhh, wait a minute. Do you think it was the bag? Or, the microwave? Should I suspect there's some non-driving, non-microwaving cult in this area who try to live without using any elective resources? Kinda crazy. I mean, I believe in moderation in all things including moderation. Except where tortilla chips are concerned. And of course, french fries. And onion rings. And salt & vinegar-flavored potato chips. Hold the presses: popcorn! And...Oh, I don't care how green you are, I thank you for reading my blog.