Sisterhood of the Traveling Scarves

Los Angeles, California

OK, I wrote that title because I liked the sound of it. Yes, there is a sisterhood. Traveling scarves? Not so much. I mean, I suppose we could designate a scarf that we might pass around, say, every quarter or so of the year. But, it wouldn't really have much significance. Probably because we're no longer fifteen years old. In fact, two of us have children older than that -- not I of course, childless and for the moment, dogless as well (see previous post).

So, let's just move on to the sisterhood part. I have known these two women, Debra and Lydia, for a long, long time. That's if we consider anything that includes multiples of decades as a solid measure of time. For some of this time our connection was tenuous. I'm sure there were years when we didn't see each other at all. But there was always a thread, supported by annual holiday and/or birthday cards, occasional lunches, and finally with everyone aboard and online, emails.

And then things got dicey in our lives. Problems with our families, the recession, job insecurities -- HELP! The call went out. We found a coffee shop that was somewhat centrally located and picked a time which would dodge the expense of a real meal, and began to meet on Saturdays -- generally moaning, venting, and laughing in a more or less circular motion. I realized that I felt better when I left the coffee shop than when I walked in. And that wasn't as a result of the good date nut bread, nor the lukewarm tea -- always lukewarm, even when they first bring it to you. But no matter. Unlike most other areas in my life, food was not the object of the exercise.

These women have been in my life for a long time. We met as we were cusping into our 30s, when we were all enrolled in the same aerobics class. Twice a week we worked out to pretty bad music for about an hour. Afterwards, on the second of the two days per week, we would hit the Jack-in-the-Box that resided in the same shopping center, and share nachos. I always drank Diet Coke with lemon, and had to fight for that lemon slice every single time. And over this nutritionally dubious repast, we tried to solve the problems of our microcosmic world. An example as follows:

When, for a short time my sister-in-law joined us, we once had a conversation about housekeepers. After I said that my housekeeper watched TV at the end of her work day while waiting for her ride to arrive, my sister-in-law stated that she wouldn't let a housekeeper do this.

"I'd give her something extra to do while she was waiting, like cleaning the baseboards," she said.

"I would never think of having anyone clean my baseboards," Debra responded.

"What's a baseboard?" asked Lydia.

That was in the 80s. Fast forward to late 2009. When we met in December, we were unable to schedule our next meeting due first to holiday constraints and then to my spending the month of January in Carmel. But we worked it out. I invited them to join me in Carmel.

They arrived for a weekend towards the end of my stay there. The weather was clear and beautiful. We walked each day, and Lydia shopped (and I mean, she shopped). I cooked each evening, and they did all the clean up! We drank wine, played cards until one in the morning -- and on the last night of their visit we ate pie at midnight! I mean, I tell you. And we talked. It was so much fun to have them there with me in Carmel. I even drove them to the beach one night so that they could watch the sunset. We phoned Billy from the car, and all talked to him via a conference call courtesy of Bluetooth. When they left on a Sunday, I was sorry, once again, to say goodbye to house guests. But knew that I would soon see them on Saturday afternoons, once I returned to Los Angeles.

It was part of what made this year's stay so perfect, and makes me miss Carmel so much, now that I am back home with ten months to go before I return. It was a blast to share it with Debra and Lydia. They came to Carmel. And, it being January, they did bring scarves. So, I guess there were traveling scarves after all. Thanks for reading my blog.