Autumn Again

Carmel-by-the-Sea, California

We've been receiving a steady stream of bad news…some of it really bad. So when the news came that we had lost our rental in Carmel for the month of January, we tried to put it in perspective. Nowhere in that news was anyone hurt, ill, or in any desperate straits. But, we were losing the rental house, Casita del Mar, which we have loved for this and the past three stays before this. So we have come to Carmel once again in September, having worked out a split schedule on the rental here which will have us here for three weeks now, and ten days at Christmas & New Years.

The weather has been glorious--much warmer and sunnier than last September. But storm clouds have been gathering on the family front. Before I left I learned that my mom needed to have surgery for a detached retina in the eye that had been damaged by the shingles virus. I debated long and hard whether to stay home for this, but the doctor, the facilitator at her board and care who I trust completely, and Billy told me that it wouldn't make any difference to my mom whether I was there or not. She wouldn't be that aware of the what and the why nor that I was ostensibly missing-in-action for this battle. So it would be more for me to be there, than for her. Still, I had reluctance when I left, but it all worked out fine.

The doctor's office worked with me, faxing consent forms here which I signed as her power of attorney, and faxed back. The hospital set in place a 'phone consent' protocol for the morning of the surgery. After the surgery, the nurse in recovery called to update me on the surgery, and Mom's condition, which was good. The board and care facilitator kept me up to date on her recovery once she was home. It was an outpatient procedure, and all went well.

I was in Carmel alone while this was happening. Billy and I had come here together, but he had already returned home. Lydia was coming for a few days after. Debra was unable to make the trip this time. After the surgery situation settled down, I got into my alone routine here in Carmel. It used to make me a little nervous to be here alone--especially in the other house we used to rent, but not any longer. I think I really needed this time to be on my own. As time passes, especially with this situation in my family, I have a harder and harder time dealing with the clutter in my head. I long for a simpler routine, simpler days...a simpler life. I think I have written before that being here affords me that, as I need little, and bring less. At home, I am overwhelmed by all the stuff, all the responsibilities, all the space junk in my brain. Luckily, while this was happening with my mom I was able to be clear and focused. Not always the case…

A lot of things in my life feel like they are spinning out. It has been a hard couple of years and a sense of balance between the good and the bad is suffering. But when I come to Carmel, attend Mass at the Mission, and walk through town and along the beach, I feel centered in a way that doesn't happen to me at home. So, with Betty's sight restored, and the weather here warm enough to sit outside until dark, and a few weeks still ahead of me, I am feeling good and welcoming autumn, which will soon arrive. Then. we will be back in December for our last stay here in this splendid house in Carmel-by-the-Sea. After that, who knows? Thank you for hanging with me during this long hiatus and for continuing to read my blog...